{"id":19886,"date":"2025-12-16T10:33:55","date_gmt":"2025-12-16T09:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/headspace.dk\/?p=19886"},"modified":"2026-05-08T11:22:26","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T09:22:26","slug":"christmas-in-a-divorced-family-can-be-hard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/headspace.dk\/en\/headspace-family-vidensportal\/jul-skilsmissefamilie-kan-vaere-svaert\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas in a divorced family can be difficult"},"content":{"rendered":"

Christmas in a divorced family can be difficult<\/strong><\/h1><\/div>

Christmas is a celebration of the heart and a time for family, togetherness and fun. But it can be difficult for both children and adults when Christmas may have to be split up between parents. In Denmark, almost 40% are divorced from their partner. Not only is divorce hard on you, but it also affects your child. You may still have a good relationship with each other despite the divorce, and you manage to be a good partner even if the love is not the same. For others, the changes can be big and more challenging. Especially if communication is difficult and you struggle to work together to make everyday life work best for your child.<\/p>\n

Whatever your divorce looks like, you're probably thinking a lot about how to make sure your child has the best Christmas - even though the setting has changed. Maybe your child will be spending Christmas with you. Maybe your child isn't home on Christmas Eve because they're spending Christmas with your ex-partner. It could also be that - despite the divorce - you still spend Christmas together. However you choose to spend Christmas, it's important to remember that there is no one right way to do it when you and your partner are divorced and have children together.<\/p>\n

There's no rulebook for how Christmas should go for divorced parents and children, but in this article we've put together some tips on how you can structure and plan Christmas so that your child is least affected by your divorce.<\/p>\n<\/div>

Hold on to Christmas memories, even if Christmas is different this year<\/h2><\/div>

Your child may have many Christmas memories from when you were still together. But this year, Christmas will be different and new traditions will emerge when Christmas takes place in a new setting. Christmas is a special time for children and young people, and it's important that you and your former partner also create good Christmas memories for your child after the divorce.<\/p>\n

For many young people, Christmas traditions are important - from getting the tree and decorating it to baking cookies and watching Christmas movies. Even though you're no longer together, you can both keep the traditions that you know your child loves the most, even if you no longer all do it together. It's also a good idea to have a plan in place so that your child doesn't have to be directly involved in the planning of Christmas. You should make the decision about who they spend Christmas with - not your child - because it's never nice to have to choose between your parents.<\/p>\n

Once the adults have made a plan for Christmas, avoid changing it as much as possible, as it can be difficult for your child to be \u201dmoved around\u201d during an already difficult time when you no longer spend Christmas together.<\/p>\n<\/div>

Avoid making your child the messenger<\/strong><\/h2><\/div>

Your child shouldn't have to bear the brunt of your divorce. As a young person, it's often already incredibly difficult when your parents are no longer together. Your child should not be involved in the more practical<\/p>\n

part of you and your partner not being together on Christmas Eve. However, it's a good idea to talk about the practicalities of Christmas Eve with your child so that everyone is on the same page about how the evening will go - without your child being the messenger between you and your partner.<\/p>\n

As a young person, there's enough to keep track of already, and most children and young people can become overwhelmed by the social pressures of Christmas. Although Christmas also requires planning when it takes place in two homes, it can be a great help to keep the Christmas program a little light so that there is room for your child to relax.<\/p>\n

Your child may feel betrayed by you or your former partner if you don't spend Christmas together. It's important that you are the adult and don't let your divorce affect your child. If you are not with your child on Christmas Eve, remind yourself not to speak badly about the way the other parent celebrates Christmas. For example, you can tell your child that you're happy wherever your child is on Christmas Eve, so they don't feel disappointed that you can't spend Christmas together. It's a good way to show genuine interest in your child also having a good Christmas with the other parent.<\/p>\n

Remember that you can help create a harmonious evening for your child even if you are not together. It's a good prerequisite for a good Christmas Eve.<\/p>\n<\/div>

If you and your partner still spend Christmas together despite divorce<\/strong><\/h2><\/div>

Some divorced couples can spend Christmas together without causing problems - and if it works for you, it's a good idea to do it so that your child has one Christmas Eve with both of you. Or maybe you've been divorced for several years and this year is the first time you won't be spending Christmas together, even though you've done it before.<\/p>\n

If you spend Christmas together, you can agree on a clear framework for the day in advance so that the Christmas peace is not disturbed by old conflicts. At the same time, it's a good idea to put your child's needs first - and focus on what you still have in common; creating a cozy time with presence, gifts, food and good Christmas moments.<\/p>\n

Give each other space to be divorced, even if you sit at the same table, and respect each other's new boundaries. When you work together - calmly and respectfully - you show that Christmas and family can still be safe - even after a divorce.<\/p>\n<\/div>

Take care of yourself, but listen to the child and take responsibility<\/strong><\/h2><\/div>

Remember to take care of yourself - that's the best way to help your child. The best way to help your child is to remind yourself that Christmas should be a nice time and a good night out - even if you're not together every day of the year. It will make it easier for your child to support you when they know that you're okay with the way things are - even if it's difficult.<\/p>\n

No matter how you work together at Christmas, it's important that children know where to be and when - regardless of age. You should also take into account the differences in temperament, reflection and self-determination that come with your child's age. A lot may have changed from the Christmas before and the years before, so it's important that you talk about needs and wishes.<\/p>\n

M\u00e5ske kan du finde st\u00f8tte i at tale med nogle i din omgangskreds om det, du finder sv\u00e6rt ved i julen. I headspace Family er vi ogs\u00e5 altid klar til at tale med dig i et fortroligt rum og lytte til dine tanker, dine frustrationer og dine \u00f8nsker for den bedst mulige jul \u2013 for b\u00e5de b\u00f8rn og voksne.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

Source of information<\/strong><\/p>\n

Christmas after divorce - M\u00f8drehj\u00e6lpen<\/a><\/p>\n

Divorce: How to help your child have a good Christmas | Psychologists in Denmark<\/a><\/p>\n

NYT: Stagnation in number of divorces in 2023 - Statistics Denmark<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":894,"featured_media":19918,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[136,97],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foelelser-i-hverdagen","category-headspace-family-vidensportal"],"yoast_head":"\nAt holde jul i en skilsmissefamilie kan v\u00e6re sv\u00e6rt - headspace<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Er din familie ramt af skilsmisse? 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