Does my child have depression?
Depression is a mental illness that affects up to three to five percent of the Danish population. It is not the fault of the young people themselves if they suffer from depression, as it is not due to weakness, laziness or lack of willpower.
Many of us may have a preconceived notion of what it means to have depression, and it can be difficult as parents or caregivers to know how to deal with it. Some may think that the young person just needs to ”pull themselves together”, can grow out of it or is just acting like an impossible teenager. These are all harmful prejudices that don't help.
If the young person you are close to has been diagnosed with depression, it is important that you actively listen and show empathy and understanding. Even if it may seem difficult and frustrating. We know how difficult it can be as a caregiver and that you want the best for your young person. So don't be too hard on yourself if you find yourself being impatient with the young person. We know what you can do. If you need support, sparring, advice or just a space for you as a caregiver, you can book a individual conversation In Headspace Family.
Why does my child have depression?
Depression can occur if something has happened in the young person's life that has triggered the depression. It could be a loss in the family, a move or other life events. However, there doesn't have to be a reason for depression to occur. It's very possible that the depression has occurred without a specific cause being found.
Symptoms of depression
If you, as a caregiver, suspect that your young person is suffering from depression, there are a number of symptoms you can look out for. However, it is important to emphasize that these symptoms are only a general assessment, that there may be individual differences, and that these are just some of the symptoms that occur. Therefore, it is important that the young person is seen by a doctor before you can be sure whether depression is present.
Some symptoms can be:
- Depressed mood
- Increased irritability
- Lack of interest in things that used to bring joy (e.g. hobbies, friends, boyfriend, etc.)
- Low energy and fatigue
- Tendency to sleep very late or have great difficulty sleeping
- Difficulty concentrating
- Reduced self-confidence
- Inner turmoil
- Passive around school and/or home
- Changes in appetite - may be more or less desire for food
- Self-harming behavior and/or thoughts of suicide
The symptoms must have been present for more than two weeks before depression is suspected.
Difference between feeling depressed and having depression
Feeling depressed is a natural part of life that will affect everyone at some point. However, depression is an illness that requires treatment. If the young person has expressed that they are very sad for a long time, it's always a good idea to see their GP who can guide you. You can also contact headspace Family if you need to discuss your thoughts.
What can you do as a caregiver?
As a parent or caregiver of a young person who is depressed, it is important that you are very patient. It's not a condition or illness that goes away quickly on its own, but requires time and work. However, there is help available and good treatment options.
Here are a handful of tips for you as a caregiver:
Show that you're there even if the young person withdraws
Your constant presence means that the young person can see that you will stay no matter what happens. Being a steady rock in the chaos has a big impact in the long run.
Listen without judging
When the young person comes to you and needs to talk, it can be easy to go into ”solution mode” and have a preconceived idea of how the young person should handle the challenge. However, this is not what the young person typically needs. More often, it's better to create a safe space where they can open up and talk about everything that's difficult, while you simply listen and acknowledge the feelings and be curious about what happens when those feelings arise.
Avoid pushing too hard
Patience can be quickly exhausted in a day-to-day situation where a young person is struggling. You may not understand their behavioral patterns, their limited initiative and other things. However, remind yourself that the young person's lack of motivation and energy is not intentional, but due to the fact that they are going through a difficult period. It won't get better with additional pressure.
Take care of yourself
It's hard to be the caregiver of a young person who is not thriving. So remember to be kind to yourself and do things that give you energy. That way, you can help yourself to a little more energy when everything feels difficult.
Be aware of serious signs
If the young person withdraws significantly more than before or talks about self-harm or suicide, immediately contact professionals who can help you and the young person.
